Staying Grounded

God opposes the proud but give grace to the humble. James 4:6

When you need to show others their faults, do not talk down to them as though you are faultless and they are inferior to you. Instead, talk with them as though you are standing side by side at the foot of the cross. Acknowledge your present, ongoing need for the Savior. Admit ways that you have wrestled with the same or other sins or weaknesses, and give hope by describing how God has forgiven you and is currently working in you to help you change... When people see this kind of humility and common bond, they will be less inclined to react to correction with pride and defensiveness.

(Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 172)

Food for Thought

Count the words you and your in the paragraph above.

How many did you count? Nine? If there had been one or two uses of the words you and your, it probably wouldn't have drawn any attention. But nine? That's enough where we need to stop, look, and listen. Ken is wisely sharing a beneficial approach to use when we need to show others their faults: talk about your own.

From our peers in the office to aging parents to the children at play in the backyard, nobody likes to be talked down to--nobody! Talking down usually invites a defensiveness that's hard to overcome. Side by side talking, however, lays a common ground that you and the other person can stand on. Interestingly enough, the root word for humility is humus, from which we get our word for ground. Being grounded, or humble, in our approach to these situations provides protection from the lightning bolts of pride and defensiveness.

In Beth Moore's bible study, Breaking Free, she makes some thought-provoking statements on page 149.

“...We make life so much more complicated when our approach to life is 'all about me.'...When we see ourselves as the center of the universe, we live in constant frustration because the rest of creation refuses to revolve around us.”

“God is God. Frankly, it's all about Him...He is the center of the universe. So how can we live with such a God-centered mentality?...Because with God, it's all about us. We seek to please Him. He seeks to perfect us—and life works. Not without pain, but with purpose.”

This is where I've made the biggest mistakes of my life—thinking I knew better than God, could handle things and people better than God. And when they came crashing down, I knew I couldn't blame Him. I could recount the flags He had put in my way that I chose to plow through. There were confirmations from others warning me I was on the wrong track that I chose to ignore. I wanted what I wanted, so I did what I wanted to do instead of trusting God.

BUT the Book of Isaiah is full of promises of restoration. In fact, in chapter 43 verses 18-21, He tells me to forget the past failures. “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth...I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert...to give drink to My people. These people I have formed for Myself; they shall declare My praise.”

God has already started the “new thing.” And today, it's newer yet and it's exciting because, "He shall be within me a “well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14). For my part, I have to trust and obey or end up in another wilderness. It always comes down to my choices.